Hello World, It’s Beth!

Many of you may know that my husband, David, has lost a significant amount of weight in the last 18 months. I thought it would be neat to sit down and ask him to share about his journey.

Beth: When we met in 1995 you had just lost 100 pounds. What had you done?

David: Controlling what I ate and working out some.

Beth: What motivated you at that time?

David: I always knew I was too heavy and needed to lose weight.

Beth: Was that the first time you’d lost an excessive amount of weight?

David: Yes

Beth: The first few years of our marriage we both put on weight. Do you remember the first time we decided to try to lose it?

David: I remember it all led up to when we went to Disney with friends in 2010. I got down to 228.

Beth: What did we do to lose the weight?

David: It was the Atkins diet and walking a lot. But then we put our weight back on because we went back to our old habits.

Beth: Can you tell me what motivated you in January 2018 to lose weight?

David: There was no one thing. It was cumulative. I was getting older and felt like I was on borrowed time with my health. I didn’t like taking blood pressure medicine and dealing with kidney stones.

Beth: It seems like I remember you feeling crappy. Can you share what you did to lose it this time?

David: I didn’t want to do strictly no/low carbs. I tried to come up with something I could do on a daily basis and that I felt like I could do long term. I didn’t want to do something temporary. Tracking calories has really helped this time.

Beth: If I remember right, you focused on what you ate for the first four months. Wasn’t it around April or May 2018 that you started walking?

David: Yes that’s right.

Beth: How much have you lost?

David: 180 pounds.

Beth: How do you think you’ll keep it off?

David: Continuing to always be mindful of what I’m eating and always looking for ways to be more active.

Beth: I remember you diagnosed yourself with a food addiction. I think I remember you saying that with food addiction the struggle is that food is everywhere and your drug of choice is legal. Do you want to share some about that?

David: That’s what I said yes. It’s easier to quit alcohol or drugs than food because you have to eat every day. It seems like the more you eat the more you want to eat. It takes more and more to satisfy you. There’s a peer/cultural pressure to eat unhealthy foods.

Beth: Plus they’re easy to grab and cheaper than the good stuff we should eat.

Beth: What are some of the rumors people have spread about you?

David: A lot of people think I had weight loss surgery and that I don’t want to tell anybody.

Beth: Do the rumors upset you?

David: No I think it’s funny.

Beth: Are you ever going to stop joking about taking good meth? The kind that doesn’t make your teeth fall out.

David: I don’t know. I guess so since my wife doesn’t see the humor in it.

Beth: Is there anything you want to share with people who struggle with their weight?

David: I think that anyone can lose weight when they find what works for them. You’re going to mess up. Just keep starting over. Weighing every day has been a good way for me to keep track of how I’m doing.

I am thankful that David allowed me to share this. Maybe you or someone you love struggles with their weight. I prayed for David for years and decided that I loved him regardless of his weight. In my opinion, finding what works for you is where success comes from.

“I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.”

‭‭Philippians‬ ‭4:13‬ ‭NASB‬‬

https://www.bible.com/100/php.4.13.nasb

Today, June 29th, marks my 48th year. My family and I have been on a mission trip with our youth pastor and other church members to Honduras. As I write this post, I struggle to find the words to convey the experience we had.

When we landed in Tegucigalpa, I honestly had no idea what to expect. Our son, Andrew, has been twice before. He tried to prepare us for what to expect. But until you go and see it with your own eyes you really can’t understand.

As we traveled from Nashville to Houston and Houston to Tegucigalpa, we were informed that Honduran truck drivers were protesting a toll on a toll road by not delivering diesel to fuel stations. We prayed and asked others to pray that the team meeting us at the airport would arrive safely. Praise God that they did!

As we drove from Tegucigalpa to Talanga where the missionaries we partner with are located, we only saw one area with protesters. We arrived safely at our destination in Talanga.

Our team included twelve of us. Five of us were first timers. Our youth pastor has been taking teams to Honduras for fourteen years. He likes helping the missionaries with any jobs they need completed on their ranch. While we were there, we stained playground equipment that a team before us had built. We helped dig a septic tank but were unable to finish it to the depth of six feet. Hopefully the next team will be able to complete it. We helped pour concrete for a basketball court that the next team will be painting.

We attended church services at three different churches. Worshiping with our Honduran Christian brothers and sisters was so very sweet. Some of the songs were familiar to us so we would sing in English as they sang in Spanish.

We also did some ministry outreaches while we were there. Feeding the school kids on the mountain was definitely everyone’s favorite. Most of the kids bring their own bowl and cup. We brought disposable plates and cups for those who didn’t have one. Most of them enjoyed their food after it was served but a few others would wrap it in a plastic bag to take home to their family.

As I said, today is my 48th birthday. I wish I hadn’t waited until now to go on my first mission trip. I’m very thankful we were able to go as a family. We are forever changed and are looking forward to going again.

“And how shall they preach unless they are sent? As it is written: “How beautiful are the feet of those who preach the gospel of peace, Who bring glad tidings of good things!””

‭‭Romans‬ ‭10:15‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

https://www.bible.com/114/rom.10.15.nkjv

A few months back I was made aware of a work from home job opportunity. I have always thought it would be neat to work from home. In my mind, I envision a relaxed work environment with my laptop perched on my lap as I recline in my favorite recliner. Of course it probably wouldn’t be like that at all.

This particular job included travel. I spoke to a contact I have at this company and asked about how much travel was required. She described her work life balance and how she was able to schedule the majority of the travel when it was best for her.

As I considered my current situation in comparison to this new opportunity, I thought about night’s away from home. Suppers not eaten with my family. I asked myself what my end game was. What was I pursuing this for? Because I used to think this sounded cool?

My life isn’t perfect. My job has good moments and not so good moments. But I really enjoy what I do and the people I work with. That’s a blessing. My marriage isn’t perfect but at the end of the workday one of my favorite things is coming home to my husband. I thought about nights spent apart. We only get so many days on this earth with the people we love. I don’t want to give up one of those days. That’s a blessing. My kids are still living at home but who knows for how much longer. I want to enjoy having them here and that’s a blessing.

What I realized is some dreams just stay dreams. Not every dream needs to come true. I am blessed with a job I enjoy on most days and a home that doesn’t need to turn into my office.

“So teach us to number our days, That we may gain a heart of wisdom.”

‭‭Psalms‬ ‭90:12‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

https://www.bible.com/114/psa.90.12.nkjv

In honor of Father’s Day, I thought I would share about some awesome fathers I’ve had the privilege of knowing.

My father’s father was killed in a mining accident before his fifth birthday. He grieved not growing up with his father. Dad constantly reminded us kids that we had something he never had. I was always thankful for having a daddy. When I was afraid, I knew my dad would protect me. He was an excellent provider and loved his family dearly. He loved my mom and showed me what to look for in my husband. He also showed me how to love Jesus and always had a generous heart.

My kids are blessed with a wonderful father. David is very critical of himself but he loves his kids fiercely. He has modeled a great work ethic for them just like my dad did for me and my siblings. He is faithful in church and always keeps his word. He has taught us all to finish what you start by finishing the degree he started several years ago. He is very quiet and doesn’t always share what’s on his mind but when he does he means every word.

My spiritual father, Roy Ellis, has been our pastor since we joined Christian Assembly in May, 1999. He has taught me to be intentional and practice my faith in the mission field of my everyday life. He speaks truth into the lives of his congregation, the jails he visits weekly and anywhere else he is given the chance. He will be the first to tell you he isn’t perfect but that’s what makes him so endearing. He often reminds me of the apostle Paul who said in I Corinthians 11:1, “follow me as I follow Christ.”

I pray each person that reads this is reminded of father figures you’ve had in your life. Some of us aren’t blessed with an earthly father in this life but most of us have people who have loved us well and filled in the gaps the best they knew how.

Happy Father’s Day to all you fathers!!

“Behold what manner of love the Father has bestowed on us, that we should be called children of God!…”

‭‭I John‬ ‭3:1‬a NKJV‬‬

https://www.bible.com/114/1jn.3.1.nkjv

There is a story I’ve been told several times. I was a toddler and was on a camping trip with my family and members of our church. My dad was sent to the store for something and after he left I wandered off. No one really knew why I wandered off but I think, if I remember correctly, I was told I was trying to catch up with dad and go with him. Once it was known that I was missing, several adults started looking for me. I am sure this was scary for my mom. As the story goes, Dad wasn’t gone long and saw me toddling along on his way back and picked me up.

Now that I’m a grown woman with both parents gone I find myself missing them both. I want to drive up the familiar driveway and walk in the back door and feel the feeling of being home. I want to sit at the table and drink a cup of coffee and tell them about the kids and share with them the plans David and I have.

Mom and dad gave me so much direction and guidance. I didn’t always heed their sound advice but I’m thankful I had godly parents sharing wisdom and life experience. They were married for 52 years. My hope is that I am creating this for Andrew and Lydia. The moments we share in our living room chatting about stuff that seems very mundane right now may be the memories looked back on with fondness. The times we spend together in the car which are few and far between now that both are driving now.

I remember when Lydia got lost in EPCOT at Disney world. She will never let me forget it because it was partly my fault. It’s a terrible feeling when you’re lost. Even though I miss my parents I have a Heavenly Father that is always with me. Nothing can tear me from His loving hands. I will be here for a lot more years hopefully making lots of memories with my family but I won’t be here forever. The best thing I can do is point them to Jesus. He is our hope and our peace.

“For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

‭‭Romans‬ ‭8:38-39‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

https://www.bible.com/114/rom.8.38-39.nkjv

When David and I were first married, I was under the delusion that I needed to make him more like me. He is an introvert and I am an extrovert. He is non confrontational and I think I am “ten feet tall and bulletproof”. He is very quiet and I am definitely not. David recharges his battery by being alone. I am the exact opposite and love being around our friends and family and hanging out and being loud.

When you look at us on paper, it may look like we aren’t a good match. But over the years, and with the help of some very good bible studies on marriage and relationships, we have learned how to compliment each other. David has taught me the value of silence which isn’t easy to learn when you are uncomfortable when things get quiet. I have taught him the value of community and that having healthy relationships means spending time with people. I have a real fear of missing out on things (referred to as FOMO) and have learned from David that it’s ok to not be included in everything. Sometimes it’s actually good to say no to something in order to stay home and rest.

When I look back at these 23 years we have had together, I am so thankful for everything he has taught me. I am thankful that our pastor, Roy Ellis, asked if we would lead some marriage bible studies. If you and your spouse struggle to relate to each other then I highly recommend the teachings of Jimmy and Karen Evans. We learned so much and know we will always need to be intentional about our relationship. You can never go on autopilot. You have to actively pursue each other. I will end this blogpost by sharing David’s favorite verse.

“Do not be rash with your mouth, And let not your heart utter anything hastily before God. For God is in heaven, and you on earth; Therefore let your words be few.”

‭‭Ecclesiastes‬ ‭5:2‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

https://www.bible.com/114/ecc.5.2.nkjv

There has been a lot of hype lately about finding your dream job. So many people in my Facebook newsfeed have been sharing about how they quit their 9-5 job and now work from home. I remember when I first started reading blogs or Facebook posts about how awful it was to leave the house you were paying for to spend hours at a job you don’t love. I started feeling like a big failure. Of course, my biggest mistake was comparing my situation to someone else’s.

Each morning I drove down my driveway away from my home, I felt like I must have done something wrong. But why would I feel this way? Who started this trend of job shaming?

I have been blessed with a good job that I really enjoy most days. I work Monday through Friday which some people would hate but I happen to like mostly because my husband has the same work schedule except when he works overtime. My coworkers are my work family. We are doing life together and I am so thankful for each one of them.

There are days when I would rather stay home and sip tea on my front porch than go to work. But everyone has those days. I once heard a Bible teacher say, “The grass always looks greener but someone still has to mow it.”

Our kids are young adults trying to find out what they want to do with their lives. There is a lot of pressure on kids to find their dream job. I personally think this sets all of us up for failure. If I always think there is something better somewhere else how will I appreciate what I have right now?

Life has struggles. Life is work. No one has an easy life. Do you have a job you enjoy? If you don’t then maybe do some self evaluation. Life is too short to be miserable. Whatever you do, I hope you enjoy it…most of the time.

“Nothing is better for a man than that he should eat and drink, and that his soul should enjoy good in his labor. This also, I saw, was from the hand of God.”

‭‭Ecclesiastes‬ ‭2:24‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

https://www.bible.com/114/ecc.2.24.nkjv

This evening, Lydia and her classmates will achieve a milestone as they graduate from high school. I am so happy for each one of them and wish them the very best in life. I celebrate the kids who have it all figured out and are one step closer to achieving their goals. I celebrate the kids who are nervous and unsure about the next steps and pray they take a breath and realize it is going to be ok.

As a parent, I know what it took to get these kids to this moment in life. It took someone fussing at them to remember the things needed for assignments, tryouts, projects and permission slips. It took someone time and money invested in each activity. It took someone to listen when a heart was broken or betrayed. It took someone to reassure during moments of uncertainty.

As each graduate receives their diploma, I will remember class parties and field trips that I attended. I will remember passing out cupcakes, reading in the hallway with those needing help, and eating lunch on special visits to school.

As each graduate tosses their cap in the air, each parent will have their heart tugged as they receive another piece of a pink slip. If a parent successfully raises their child, they eliminate their job. Yes, parents are still needed by their grown kids but it’s different. It’s not bad. Just different.

To each parent, grandparent and teacher I say job well done. To each coach, cook and band instructor I say we couldn’t have done it without you. To each custodian, school board member and bus driver I say thanks for being part of the team. It takes each and every person doing their part to help each kid advance to the next phase of life.

This marks the end of one story and the beginning of the next. Each story has happy moments, sad moments, moments of uncertainty and moments of triumph. Buckle up, graduates, it’s a bumpy, wild and wonderful ride.

“Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it.”

‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭22:6‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

https://www.bible.com/114/pro.22.6.nkjv

My mother, Patricia Ann East, was born October 4, 1932. She was the seventh of eight children. Her oldest sister, Odosca, prayed for a sister with each birth of her five brothers. She helped pick out my mom’s name. They were raised by two loving parents in Hopkins County, Kentucky. They had lots of love but not much else due to her father being without work for 17 years. It’s very bad when you get blackballed by your fellow coal miners but that’s another story.

During her school years, mom was sick often and had to stay home. She loved school so this was especially hard on her. This also kept her from graduating with her classmates. According to my grandmother, mom was boy crazy. I know this because grandma told me frequently that I was boy crazy “just like your mother”.

When mom was introduced to my dad, Theodore DeMoss, in the fall of 1950, she was a senior in high school. Their introduction almost didn’t happen. My dad had attended the same high school and knew of my mother but had never met her officially. The day their mutual friend drove my dad to meet mom was on a day she had her hair wrapped in rags and was wearing her brother Russell’s jeans. She was embarrassed to meet him looking like this but decided to at the last minute. Apparently the meeting went well because they were married the next August.

Fast forward to 1970. By this time, Mom had given birth to two daughters with at least three miscarriages in between them. Debbie was born in 1953 and Ginger was born in 1962. In 1966, they had adopted a baby boy to add to their family. It had been my dad’s dream to have a son. After adopting Tom at 11 days old, they felt their family was complete. During the fall of 1970, mom thought she was going through “the change”. When she finally realized she was pregnant, she was embarrassed. She gave her credit card to Debbie, who was 18 and a senior in high school, with instructions to purchase some maternity clothes. Six weeks after I was born in June of 1971, she was the mother of the bride at Debbie’s wedding. I can’t even imagine being postpartum and planning your oldest daughter’s wedding.

Even though she was embarrassed by being pregnant with me, I have never held this against her. She was a private woman who rarely shared the struggles of three miscarriages. I remember a discussion she and dad were having in front of me when I was an adult. She was sharing how she had wanted dad to get a vasectomy after Ginger was born. Dad replied, “If I had gotten one, Bethie wouldn’t be here.” (Um, thanks dad.)

I may have surprised her by my arrival but she loved me. She spoiled me rotten. She was a remarkable woman who would make a plan and then initiate. If she made you a promise you knew she would follow through. And I pity anyone who crossed her. I remember coming home from school after I had been paddled for not doing my work. I dreaded telling her the entire bus ride home. When I told her, she didn’t believe me. I have always loved exaggerating and embellishing stories. But when she realized I was telling the truth, she was madder than a wet hen. I am not sure what she did but the teacher who paddled me was not teaching at my school the next year.

She died suddenly in December 2003. I was 32 years old. Our son, Andrew, was 5 and our daughter, Lydia, had just turned 3 the week before. I was always calling her for advice. I adored her. I think of her everyday.

If you have or had a wonderful mother and she’s still with you, celebrate her this Mother’s Day. If you didn’t, then flip the story and give your kids what you didn’t have.

Happy Mother’s Day!!

“Her children rise up and call her blessed; Her husband also, and he praises her:”

‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭31:28‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

https://www.bible.com/114/pro.31.28.nkjv

I remember so well the spring of 1995. I was getting ready to graduate from Rhema Bible Training Center and felt like a failure. When I moved to Broken Arrow, Oklahoma to start classes at Rhema, I truly thought that I would meet my husband. Please believe me when I say that this was not the main reason for me attending Rhema but I felt it would be a missed opportunity to not even consider this as a possibility.

I remember packing my things and getting ready to move back home to Evansville. During a time of prayer, I asked God why I couldn’t have been raised catholic so that I could at least have the option of becoming a nun. If you haven’t noticed yet, I can be a little dramatic at times.

A couple of weeks after moving back, I attended my cousin’s wedding. As I sat there with my family feeling sorry for myself, it hurt to see someone getting the thing I wanted so badly. I was happy for my cousin and her new husband but wondered why I wanted something that seemed to be nonexistent for me. When you’re not dating anyone, your chances of getting married are pretty slim.

During the reception, I enjoyed visiting with family I hadn’t seen for awhile. As I visited with my cousin Greg and his wife Brenda, she told me about a young man she had known since he was a baby. She told me he was a nice guy and asked me if I would be interested in meeting him. Nothing makes a single girl feel better than needing help to meet someone. Brenda was sweet and definitely had good intentions. Every time we would see each other she would always say, “Beth Ann, you’re such a pretty girl. We’ve got to find you somebody.” She had introduced me to two other guys already so she was bound and determined to make me a match.

A couple of weeks passed and a letter arrived from Brenda with a picture of a cute guy and a plan for us to meet. I remember staring at the picture and almost throwing it away because I felt so hopeless and like a big failure. But I decided it couldn’t hurt to just meet the guy and see what would happen.

This June, we will celebrate 23 years together. Every year on our anniversary in June, David and I always tell the kids they better be happy that Brenda introduced us. I know I’m very thankful that I didn’t throw that letter away.

If I could go back in time to the young woman getting ready to graduate, I would encourage her to relax and trust in God. He is always good and faithful. And this definitely turned out better than I could have imagined. If you are hoping and praying for something that seems hopeless please know that God has not forgotten you. He hears you and is working even when you can’t see it.

“Trust in the LORD with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths.”

‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭3:5-6‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

https://www.bible.com/114/pro.3.5-6.nkjv