Hello World, It’s Beth!

As I write this blog post, we are heading home from the beach. We had beautiful weather and made some sweet memories with our kids and their sweethearts. We have been very blessed with taking our kids on vacations throughout the years. As they have grown older, vacations have started to look a little different.

David and I have always enjoyed counting down to vacation. The kids have adopted this as well and as our trip grew closer they would share an updated countdown with us in our family group text. It seems that when you join the workforce counting down to time off becomes a common practice. Vacation is such a welcome interruption to the daily routine. A time to just kick back and relax. Losing track of what day it is or what time of day it is means you’re doing vacation the right way in my humble opinion.

This vacation we experienced something different due to work schedules and family commitments involving both of the kids’ sweethearts. I refer to them as “sweethearts” since they have both been in committed dating relationships for a while now. Lydia and Matt were delayed coming down a day due to his work schedule so David and I got to begin the week with Andrew and Emily. The four of us got groceries, enjoyed pizza, and got the condo ready for the week or so we thought. (We had to go to the grocery at least four times!) We arrived earlier than expected and even got out on the beach for a few hours that first day. Matt and Lydia arrived later the next day exhausted from the drive. We enjoyed the next few days with lots of food and lots of beach time with great weather.

Thursday evening we enjoyed dinner before going on a dolphin cruise. It was a beautiful evening. Back at the condo, Andrew and Emily got packed up so they could leave early the next morning in order to get back home in time for her brother’s high school graduation. I had known for weeks this was the plan. That night we hugged their necks and told them goodbye knowing that when we woke up Friday morning they would be on their way home. I was not prepared for the sadness that would come. I tried to push the tears aside but finally just gave in. The beach is my happy place. The sun was shining bright. We still had a day to enjoy the beach and moments with Lydia and Matt. But still the tears fell. I tried to share how I was feeling with my sweet husband. He responded by saying, “I planned a nice trip to the beach and you’re going to cry on the last day?”

Fathers and mothers experience things differently. That’s not a bad thing but he didn’t understand why I would be sad. Andrew lives two hours away now. I had been counting down to a week with both kids under the same roof. My heart was so happy. With Andrew’s departure I had no idea when we would see him again. We make a point to visit him but I think the sadness came because vacation with my “babies” was coming to a close. David’s response to my emotions reminded me of the story of Hannah in 1 Samuel in chapter one when she is crying because the Lord hadn’t blessed her with any children yet.

“Then Elkanah her husband said to her, “Hannah, why do you weep? Why do you not eat? And why is your heart grieved? Am I not better to you than ten sons?””
‭‭I Samuel‬ ‭1‬:‭8‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

David is a man of few words but I think he was thinking “I’m still here and we are going to have fun if you’ll stop your silly crying.”

There are many chapters in motherhood. Each chapter looks different and requires different approaches and skills. It’s beautiful but there are some struggles. You learn so much about yourself and these beautiful people God blesses you with. I think I could have easily “taken to the bed” as comedian Leanne Morgan says. I was “in a glass case of emotion” to quote Ron Burgundy in the movie Anchorman. Instead I dried my eyes and put my bathing suit on and headed to the beach with my handsome husband and enjoyed our last beach day laying in the sun, floating in the ocean and reading a good book under the beach tent.

To all my fellow momma’s, buckle up and enjoy the ride but make sure to have some Kleenex handy just in case.

It’s been a while since I’ve written a blogpost but I felt like today would be a great day to do just that. This is my 51st year of life and I have decided it’s time to learn to embrace each season. For as long as I can remember, I have always made it very clear that summer is my favorite season. I love all of the summer outdoors activities. I love being in the sun, floating in my pool, taking long walks with my sweetheart around the Kentucky lake area. We love hiking new trails around the lake because it’s just a beautiful area.

As June and July pass and August begins, I usually start to mourn the nearing of the end of summer. My mourning then makes me sad of course. I will tell David something like, “I hope we get to use the pool one more time.” David used to join me on this woeful journey but he decided a few years back to stop dreading the coming of winter and just embrace each season. I was sad to lose my buddy. Misery actually does love company.

I have known that my sad state was self inflicted because I was choosing to be miserable and tell everyone around me how much I love summer and hated winter. I would soothe my sad soul in the fall by consuming lots of pumpkin spice which I thoroughly enjoy but this year is going to be different. I am going to embrace the beauty of each season. After all, God made each season so that alone should be enough of a reason to just embrace each one.

As I’m typing this on my phone, I’m sitting on my front porch with a nice cool breeze blowing. We are getting ready to load up and hit the road to Bowling Green where Andrew will be taking classes for a year or so until the next part of his educational journey. Even though I know he will only be a couple hours away, I know the dynamics in our home will change. I’m so excited for him but now I’m sad for the ending of a season. I’m doing my best to just embrace each moment. All of this makes me think about the Apostle Paul and how the Lord stopped him on his way to Damascus and told him in Acts 9:5, “…it is hard for you to kick against the goad.”

I looked it up and found out a goad was a stick with a pointed piece of metal used to steer the ox as they plowed a field. I guess all these years I’ve been kicking at the goad so to speak. It’s time to just lean back and trust that God has every season and each chapter of life. Is there an area of your life where you are “kicking against the goad”? Maybe you love the changing of each season but there are other things you make yourself miserable about. Let’s share our struggles with each other and lift one another up. That’s exactly what Jesus wants us to do by loving each other as we love ourselves.

Last Saturday started so nice. I woke up and spent time reading my Bible and spending time with God. I had a nice breakfast. I visited with my sweet David and then we started painting the living room. We were finished by lunch. Both of our grown kids had to work that day but everything was back in place by the time they got home.

Lydia made plans with friends but Andrew was ready to relax after a busy week with work and online classes. David and I decided to have a fire pit and roast some brats and of course have some s’mores.

Now let me back track for a minute. Every week that I grocery shop I always text and ask if anyone needs anything or has any requests for supper that week. David and I had a fire pit a couple of weeks before so I assumed we still had stuff for s’mores. The box of graham crackers was right there in the cabinet.

David decided he wanted some grippo’s potato chips so he decided to go to the store. Before he left, he asked if we needed anything else. I answered no. While he was gone, I was a good little wife and went and started the fire. When he got back, I started gathering all of the needed items on a tray. And then it happened. I grabbed the box of graham crackers. And it only had two crackers in it. I. Lost. My. Mind. Over graham crackers. It was ugly y’all. Picture a small child throwing a tantrum in Walmart. I ended up yelling “I hate you guys”. Now that’s strong language. But I was so mad I didn’t remember all the words I spewed during my fit. I carried all the rest of our stuff out to the deck table and plopped my unhappy self in our hammock.

I always tell everyone in my house that our food is for all of us. Andrew apparently had been munching on the graham crackers which should be fine. He’s totally entitled but I made him feel so bad. I wounded his heart. He went to the store and got us another box, maybe hoping I would choke on them. When he came back home he asked me why I had hate in my heart. Ugh. Now I don’t hate my kids but I had been allowing something in my heart for that to come out.

Why am I sharing this horrible moment I’d rather forget? Because we all do and say things in the heat of the moment that we know later we shouldn’t have. It reminds me of what the apostle Paul penned in Romans.

“So the trouble is not with the law, for it is spiritual and good. The trouble is with me, for I am all too human, a slave to sin. I don’t really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don’t do it. Instead, I do what I hate. But if I know that what I am doing is wrong, this shows that I agree that the law is good. So I am not the one doing wrong; it is sin living in me that does it. And I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. I want to do what is right, but I can’t. I want to do what is good, but I don’t. I don’t want to do what is wrong, but I do it anyway. But if I do what I don’t want to do, I am not really the one doing wrong; it is sin living in me that does it. I have discovered this principle of life—that when I want to do what is right, I inevitably do what is wrong. I love God’s law with all my heart.”
‭‭Romans‬ ‭7:14-22‬ ‭NLT‬‬
https://www.bible.com/116/rom.7.14-22.nlt

The moral of the story is try not to lose your mind over graham crackers.

Life. It’s definitely a four letter word and sometimes it’s “a four letter word”. Sometimes it makes no sense and sometimes it does. These past few months, my job has turned me upside down and punched me in the gut. Yesterday, I sat down to put my makeup on and the tears started flowing. I wanted to run far away. Or hide. When I was little, I hated going to school. I would hide my shoes so that I would miss the school bus and hopefully get to stay home. At 49, I know that’s not an option. So while I cried, I cried out to God. I told God that I knew He saw me and that He heard me. I believe He has placed me right where I am. I didn’t ask for these changes in my job and I never would have applied for the job I have now but I know what to do. I’ve been here before. Maybe you have too.

Maybe you don’t know what to do during the hard times of life. If you don’t know then allow me to tell you. When you want to run, you plant your feet. When you want to hide, you stand still right where you are. When you feel like God may have abandoned you, you remind yourself that you’ve been here before. It may have been a different set of circumstances, but you’ve experienced hard times.

As I drove to work, with my tear stained makeup, I laid my hand on my chest and prayed for myself. As I drove, I remembered that I went through a very hard struggle when I first transferred to the department I’ve now worked in for over ten years. I remembered crying and telling myself I couldn’t do it. (Never say those words. You can do it!) I remembered how God carried me through that season and how I stayed and grew professionally. I remembered how successful I felt for enduring that hard time when I was on the other side. As I drove and prayed, I was reminded of Psalms 91. It starts off by saying, “He that dwells in the secret place of the Most High shall abide under the shadow of the almighty.” I am hidden in Him. He is a tower that the righteous can run to and are safe.

During the hard times, when you want to run then run to God. During the hard times, when you want to hide, hide in Him. As Christians, it’s so easy to think that hard times shouldn’t come to us but that’s a lie from the pit of hell. Hard times come to each and every one of us. I hope these words bring you comfort. If you are walking through hard times right now, please know that you are not alone. I’m going through with you and God has us in His loving hands. And praise God that hard times don’t last forever. This too shall pass!

“He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High Shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the LORD, “He is my refuge and my fortress; My God, in Him I will trust.””
‭‭Psalms‬ ‭91:1-2‬ ‭NKJV‬‬
https://www.bible.com/114/psa.91.1-2.nkjv

I am sitting on my front porch this morning sipping on a cup of Earl Grey tea and thinking about the last four days. Today is September 7, 2020 and Labor Day is being observed. We decided a few weeks ago to take a road trip to visit my brother and sister in law who live in Texas. We also decided, since we were headed that way to go through Oklahoma and visit David’s niece and her husband. Some people cringe at the thought of loading up the family truckster (National lampoons reference) and hitting the highway but we truly enjoy it. We, as in David and I. Our young adult kids were able to join us and I think they enjoyed going but I’m pretty sure they don’t enjoy the drive. They enjoy arriving at the destination. I do too but I have learned to enjoy the journey as long as traffic is moving at a good pace.

We had originally planned this trip to take place over Memorial Day weekend but with the pandemic being in full swing and many restaurants being closed, we postponed it. The pandemic is still a very real thing now but we decided to just take our masks and hand sanitizer and use common sense. We believe in prayer and had asked for God to give us wisdom (see James 1:5) and had peace in our hearts about going. And I am so thankful we did. It was so good visiting with our family. It was also refreshing to be in different places and interact with different people. People who look different than us.

With everything going on in our nation right now, it is very easy for me to feel fearful. When I scroll through Facebook, there is so much fear being pushed by different groups (political, religious, etc.). But as we drove through Kentucky, Missouri, Oklahoma, Texas, Arkansas, Tennessee and back to Kentucky, we saw people showing respect for one another. Holding doors for each other. Smiling at each other with our eyes since most of us were wearing masks. I saw human kindness for each other. I know this is very basic and you may think I’m ignoring the real issues. I am not. There are real problems in our nation that have been allowed for way too long and the only answer is Jesus. But I wanted to share my thoughts and encourage you to not get sucked in to a narrative that may not be true. Instead of looking for truth on your smartphone, look up. Look around you. Listen. We are only here on this earth for a short time. Let’s be kind to one another and treat each other the way God wants us to. He made each of us in His image. Please join me in praying for our nation. This election is not the answer. A political party is not the answer. A program is not the answer. Jesus is our hope, our peace.

“This is real love—not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins. Dear friends, since God loved us that much, we surely ought to love each other.”
‭‭1 John‬ ‭4:10-11‬ ‭NLT‬‬
https://www.bible.com/116/1jn.4.10-11.nlt

Imagine you’re visiting a city you’ve been looking forward to seeing. You’ve planned all of the sights you’ll see. You know where each day will be spent, where each meal will be eaten, and the attractions you’ll visit each night. You’ve planned this trip for weeks or maybe months. On your first morning, you hop in the back of a taxi and before the driver even has a chance to ask your destination, you tell him the address you’re headed to.

But the minute he takes off, you know he’s going the wrong way. You didn’t plan on going down this street. You’re questioning his ability to get you where you want to go. How long has he done this? You’ve watched the YouTube channels of tour guides and never planned to go this route. In fact they advised to not take this path.

Isn’t this how many of us treat our relationship with God? The Bible says He is the creator of all things. It says He is the author and finisher of our faith. But we don’t always trust Him with our journey. We have it all figured out. Or at least this is how I’ve treated my walk with Christ before. My prayer time is like going to a restaurant and picking up the menu and perusing my options. I’ll take the husband, the family, the big house on the side of town everybody wants to live in, add in a dog, and some friends and you’ve got yourself the ingredients for a happy life. But what if… what if God has other plans.

There have been so many times in my life that I’ve had it all planned out and made a mess of it. And when that happens, I’ve always ran to God and shown Him the mess I’ve made and asked Him to help “fix” it. He is so good. He knew I was going to make that mess. He loves me regardless. He loves you too. I’ve learned in my walk with Him that He wants me to trust Him. When things don’t turn out the way I thought they would He reminds me that He is still there. Trusting God with the life He has given me has always been challenging but I’m trusting more and more the older I get. I hope I can encourage you to settle back in your seat and trust God that He is still in control even when things don’t make sense.

“God chose us in Christ to be holy and blameless in God’s presence before the creation of the world. God destined us to be his adopted children through Jesus Christ because of his love. This was according to his goodwill and plan”
‭‭Ephesians‬ ‭1:4-5‬ ‭CEB‬‬
https://www.bible.com/37/eph.1.4-5.ceb

As a kid, joining a club is such a big deal. I remember playing with friends and pretending we had a secret club. There were always rules to follow or certain things you had to do to become a member like eating something gross or telling a secret you hadn’t shared with anyone else.

As I’ve grown older, I’ve been added to clubs that I really didn’t want to join. It happens to all of us. When my mom passed away in December 2003, I joined a club. No one really knows what it’s like until you experience death firsthand. She passed away on December 6th and less than two weeks after we were attending our church Christmas banquet. I remember so many well meaning friends telling me how sorry they were about mom’s passing. One well intentioned friend said, “I don’t know how you’re doing this. I couldn’t do it.” It was as if she thought I had a choice. I didn’t.

Maybe you’ve joined a club that you wish you hadn’t. Divorce. A diagnosis. An addiction. These are just a few. I have a very close friend who joined a club when he didn’t have to. He left his throne in heaven and paid a debt he didn’t owe so that anyone who accepted his invitation could become part of his family. He knows what it’s like to be accused of something he didn’t do. He knows how it feels to be left by his friends. He loves me even though I don’t deserve it and there’s nothing I can do to make him stop loving me. The same is true for you. Jesus loves you and has open arms ready to accept any who calls on his name.

“Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens — Jesus the Son of God — let us hold fast to the confession. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but One who has been tested in every way as we are, yet without sin. Therefore let us approach the throne of grace with boldness, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us at the proper time.”
‭‭Hebrews‬ ‭4:14-16‬ ‭HCSB‬‬
https://www.bible.com/72/heb.4.14-16.hcsb

I love getting together with friends and family…when we’re not in the middle of a pandemic. I think most people would agree with this especially after all of the social distancing most of us have been doing. Whether you’re an introvert or extrovert, there’s usually someone you enjoy being together with. I’m a people person and am usually in the mood for a get together. My sweet husband enjoys getting together with loved ones in small intervals. We’ve learned to balance this between the two of us. And believe me, it’s not easy. We will probably be working on this “til death do we part”.

I remember walking into the cafeteria when I was in grade school. Some days I had an invitation to sit with friends. Other days, maybe we had a squabble, I entered the lunch room uncertain of where I would sit. That’s an uneasy feeling. No one wants to be excluded.

There’s one friend I have that always saves me a seat. This friend is always waiting to hear my voice. We are the very best of friends. This friend never gets upset with me. Never lets my call go unanswered or let’s my call go to voicemail. This friend isn’t David. As much as I love David, our days are numbered. Even though David is my best friend here on this earth, my very best friend is Jesus. There will never be an end to our relationship. He doesn’t give me a list of requirements to meet for me to be his friend. He just asks that I invite him in. And now it’s your turn. Invite him in. He’s waiting on you. He’s not mad. You are the apple of his eye.

“A man who has friends must himself be friendly, But there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.”
‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭18:24‬ ‭NKJV‬‬
https://www.bible.com/114/pro.18.24.nkjv

I’ve always been easily distracted. I totally identify with the dog in the movie “Up” who couldn’t complete a sentence if a squirrel was near. There’s so much going on in our world right now. Things that are very worthy of our attention at times. I’m not trying to distract from things happening by writing this post but just wanted to whisper in your ear a reminder.

Please remember to rest your brain. There is rest in sitting and just taking a break from social media. I’m typing this as I sit on my front porch taking in the sights and sounds of my little piece of the world waking up around me.

Remember that we aren’t here on this earth forever. The Bible says our life is but a breath. Don’t let that steal your joy. Instead be encouraged to enjoy the moments. The simple things in life are a gift like sitting with loved ones and laughing. The Bible also says that our days are numbered so try to enjoy as much of each day that you can. Even on the toughest days there can be simple joys like a good cup of coffee or a bubble bath or a soft bed to lay down on.

If you are an anxious person then be mindful of that and take things in small doses that can add to your stress. Choose wisely where you get your information and don’t gobble everything up that the media shares. Have you ever seen a momma bird feeding her baby birds? Don’t be a baby bird and just consume anything someone offers you.

If you are looking for true peace in these crazy times look no further than Jesus. He’s a faithful trusted friend who wants nothing more than you. You don’t have to jump through lots of hoops to please him. It’s not about do this and don’t do that. It’s all about how much he loves you and just wants your heart.

“These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.””
‭‭John‬ ‭16:33‬ ‭NKJV‬‬
https://www.bible.com/114/jhn.16.33.nkjv

You may have noticed I haven’t been posting any blogs for awhile. Maybe you’ve missed them. Maybe you were relieved. If you were, that’s fine just please keep that to yourself. If you were wondering where I’ve been, I’ll gladly share.

It all started in February which seems so long ago now. I was at work and was getting ready for a meeting to start. My coworker seated next to me began sharing how she had started working on her masters degree and how great it was going. We couldn’t talk long because the meeting soon started but this conversation sent me down a rabbit hole.

I am easily inspired. When I was a child, I wanted to be everything. It changed often and usually based on the latest movie I had just watched or the book I had just read. I still have these tendencies. So instead of carefully considering what was best for me and mine, I plunged straight ahead. I started class on March 1st with visions of job offers and endless opportunities. I was doing great and then…a global pandemic hit. Everything changed overnight it seemed. Everything including my goals, my dreams, my inspiration. It was as if I was waking up and realizing I already had the job I wanted. I realized it was okay to say that I didn’t want to do that. Immediately I started beating myself up. I truly am my worst enemy. Can you relate?

The person I feel the sorriest for is my husband David. He has a front row seat to my crazy antics. He is a saint that I do not deserve but do not tell him I said that. Thankfully, I was able to withdraw from school and I did end up learning something. I learned that I am thankful for the life I already have. I don’t want to go up any career ladder. It’s okay that others have dreams and goals to achieve more and maybe it’s my job to cheer them on as they go. I learned that education is a tool. It’s not a gold medal to wear on your chest. I wanted my bachelors degree and that’s what motivated me to go get it. I have never really wanted a masters degree and I’ve said it out loud plenty of times. Time is a gift. I only have so many days on this earth.

Before withdrawing from school, I asked myself how I wanted to spend those hours and the truth was that I didn’t want to spend my time at home doing homework. I also realized that I couldn’t do everything I was doing and just add school into my routine. Something was going to have to give. I volunteer at our church and love every minute of it. I work full time and when I come home I enjoy spending time with David and the kids.

Having said all of that, I don’t regret attempting school. For so long I’ve used the excuse of not getting my masters degree because I thought I couldn’t do it. I found out I can do it. I just don’t want to. So I will just chalk this up to a life lesson. Ephesians 4:32 states that we should be kind and compassionate to one another. I’ve decided to be kind and compassionate to myself and forgive myself for being so impulsive. And maybe I’ll take a page from David’s book from now on and carefully consider big decisions from now on.

Have you made an impulsive decision and ended up changing your mind? Is there something you need to forgive yourself for? Instead of beating yourself up, be kind and compassionate to yourself and forgive yourself.

“And be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving one another, just as God also forgave you in Christ.”
‭‭Ephesians‬ ‭4:32‬ ‭HCSB‬‬
https://www.bible.com/72/eph.4.32.hcsb